Two Wives. A Short Story.

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Misikhu, Bungoma. Western Kenya.

Aunty just came back from Makutano.
She asked about a long lost family friend who lived around Kitale.

'On your way to Makutano maybe, I don't know.'

I promised I'd try to get to them as soon as this pesky January rain abates. I'm also embarrased about meeting Ma'Dessy;  that long-lost-but-lately-found family friend who now resides around Kitale.Now I can’t go to her home without a lady I had bragged about being my wife.

Anyway.

I told Aunty Emily I'd marry two wives; so if one left I'd still have another to hold on to.

Aunty chuckled.

She does that when she's pitying my young naivete.

'Don't get more than one wife. It's all trouble. Juzi, I went somewhere to have tea but there was none...that's what they said.'

I cut Aunty midway through her session by reaching for the volume knob on the radio. Soon "Ivo Ivo Ivo" was blaring and my head was bobbing to the raucous hip hop.

Aunty left.

Later…

'You know why I wasn't offered any tea?'

'No,' I confessed..

'She had urinated into her husband's tea.'

My jaw fell to my Adam's apple.

'They do that to be loved by the husband.'

There was more.

' I know a friend who went to a Mganga. Now as she ate with her husband; she'd rub her anus and then touch the ugali. The husband first thought it was simple ill-manners; but she did it more than twice...'

'Ehe...?' I was hooked.

'The husband locked the door and grabbed a knife...'

'Ehe...?' Aunty knows how to tell a good story.

'He told his wife he'd cut her up like a chicken. She started wailing and told it all. Now she's at her parents' home, for good.'

I laughed but I knew it was true, Aunty never lied.

There was more.

'Two wives would make you feed on filth. They'll sit naked on the dough before they make you the chapati, they'll pick the best cuts off that steak and keep it in their panties overnight; stew it then serve it to you...'

'All for the money?' I'm asking.

'Not really, she just wants you to spend more time with her and less with the other wife.'

'I'd like that..' I'm saying.

Aunty chuckles.

I still think two wives is alright.

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