I remember correctly  How could I forget?  I know now why the silence  Hang loud in the air.  I hated that.  I was teetotaling,  Teetering, fumbling..  You sipped blacks,  I made do with the ciggies.  You hated those by the way.  He made you feel better  I hid my face  My room was messy  Roaches, butts, ashes.  I figured you hated those too.  I remember; don’t worry.  You were nervous, raw.  It hang in the air  These chemical concoctions out of our heads.  I hated him, I just couldn’t tell.  You know I wanted it  I knew you wanted it.  It was strange, this thing.  How you devoured them.  I hated that, Lord knows.  There was going to be three of us.  We did business  We couldn’t afford messes.  I drowned.